Now I can see what you are
What you are not
What I am
What I am not
I’m taking risks
To be close to you
Because I don’t always understand things
Unless I am close up
Snuffling around for clues
Like a mouse
I want to figure things out
There is nothing like
The love I feel
When it is flowing
A shape can be formed
And trap us in it’s hold
When we stop clinging and let ourselves feel
Exactly what we feel,
When we don’t lock anything down
And we can tell our truth
And be heard by one another
Then the riches will reveal themselves
In the experiences we share
For Art Go Here
Opening up to the places inside that have been shut away for so long.
Making faces at the fears that now uncover their subversive intentions to derail me from my truth.
I am not there yet;
The fears still serve as my protection.
Protection from what?
I wonder… if not the memories of past times when that massive energy overwhelmed me in it’s force and ferocity, taking me down into depths I never knew existed, into negativities so colossal that I was drowning….?
That was before.
That is the past.
The time is now; I recognise these things in their true form.
Thoughts that have become tram lines in my heart and head; my body merely responding to the vibrations being offered up from universal source; (some are bigger and better conduits than others), and for so long I was hearing the Voice in a solitary confinement of my own.
Pressure from without would keep me in my place, the place where other’s fears are not jarred or stirred, and when I broke free it was like all volcanoes erupting at once.
But that was then…
Now a memory.
This is now…
How is it now? Really?
Is it like a spring rain, for the first time warm again on the inside?
Is it like a water fountain of release, bubbling and flowing inside of your deepest parts?
Is it like a place so sublime that you can hardly hold it for the embarrassment of riches it now yields?
Is it like a formless being inhabiting your very body?
Are you empty yet?
If not, there is still time.
Wednesday 19th April 2017
Serious is freedom’s business…
Let go of the ego’s version of freedom
And return to the freedom within
Let serious then become playful
For the business of freedom
Can never be corralled in moroseness
But must be let to fly
For the gold must be found
In those who can and will
For the good of those who can’t
God bless them all
I like Apples because:
I seek nourishment; because I am wired to; They help me know myself…They are delicious, food, natures medicine, full of nutrients, sunlight and vital forces…
Because I am Eve.
It is my lot to love an Apple!
Because from the Dawn of Time
I have known Apples to be
the source of my existence
and this is my sin!
My confusion, my knowing
that blocks out the One Central Thing
that makes me cover myself in shame;
The thing is
that I forgot that
The Apple is NOT GOD;
but the fruit of knowing God in man!
But I must learn this lesson well;
for many years, have I been deluded
By God; that Father,
God, that Son,
and I… The Ghost!
the mere ghost…
I set myself to wandering
alone in the desert,
no mortal man to hold me;
Inviolable, untouchable in my torment.
I sought for the apple tree within
and found only you, you and
But you are NOT GOD
So how can I be SO mistaken?
So I know GOD through Apples
but do I know, can I know GOD
directly, by my own lights?
Can I come, finally, naked
open handed, surrendered
God, I looked for you everywhere
But I found only Apples!
They are sweet but they are not you,
and I am mere Mortal;
Wounded and seeking
This Apple would only feed me
for so long, but I seek
life eternal, life beyond life
I seek your Source now;
I no longer seek Apples.
They are what they are;
They appear, are eaten
or being eaten by other insects
and I feel abundant.
But there is only one
The Apple Tree itself belongs to You!
March 28th 2017
I wrote this after a long and painful night letting go my attachment to a friend. I love him dearly but it is not time for us to go beyond the simplicity of friendship. I accept this, though it hurts me greatly. I’m sure the pain is cleansing. Ouch. Healing HURTS!!!
Earlier in the day whilst we were hanging out he looked for a bag of apples and couldn’t find them. Later he told me he had found them after all. I said I wanted his apple! Ha! Anyway, we played with the metaphor of apples representing men… and he asked my why I loved apples so much?
I had to pause and really think about this one, (hence the title) and the depth I found was actually quite religious in it’s tone. Quite. I thought, yes! This love with attachment is what hurts. It would do me well to reconnect with my source energy and stop mooning over him like he would be all the answers to my emptiness. Maybe he would be for a while, but then, when I’ve eaten his flesh and sucked him dry… then what…?
Back to the apple tree…
When I fly high
i see all of humanity
locked in its own embrace
trying to curl in
and carry on sleeping
its time to wake up
from our slumber
and call to arms
the armies of angelic host
to help us conquor our own fear
Awaken your vision….
I have to credit Carl Gustav Jung with the original quote which was as follows.
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”
I read it in a book and it stuck but I’ve paraphrased it because it is so spot on. How many times in daily life do we reach for the outside option to make ourselves feel better?
Anyway, please check out my video above and perhaps see you around a little.
Thanks for your visit.
Header photo artwork by:
To see my art:
I’ve always been a scaredy cat
how did I get over that?
I didn’t but I kind of did
but it got over me.
I wish I had your courage
your boldness and your flourish
but I was told to simmer down
to stop being wild!
And so I did!
I stayed quiet when I wanted to shout
so scared of not being liked by you
but therein lies the prison!
I set me free!
Photo artwork by:
For my paintings:
I am discovering new ways to die.
I now die to that which no longer serves me: doubt, fear, grief, impatience.
I now wish to learn through love.
I now reach out to spirit with my arms.
I remember my presence is enough.
I sit in nature and breathe.
Most of all. Remember.
“In the darkness we may fear all manner of things that in the light of day are really nothing…”
Jaguar In The Woods
It is time to die
Time to release that which no longer serves me
My spirit is crying out for restoration
So I go into the woods in search of Jaguar…
I wield the sacred power of courage, held in my heart;
remembered through my tools;
The rattle, the paint brush, my voice, my dancing…
Courage takes me to my fear, face to face now we dance
I come down from my tree, stalking my terror, my prey
harnessing the medicine of life and death I say,
‘Give Me Back My Self!’
Jaguar flows through me now
with the grace of an assassin
fear yields to the touch of the brush on my face
warpaint on; I am hunting
I snake through the densely packed forest of my mind.
Snaring my fear I make the final blow
severing it’s life blood with my jaws
clenched in the bloody death of that which will now feed me.
As I die to my fearful self
power surges forward
for an instant I am transported
into lives past, unlived by me
the clench envelopes me now
curious in its transport
I let it go
as I let go to feel
I surrender once again
to the flow of moments
moving now from within my limbs
spirit urges me, and
messages from silent voices
I stand erect
and take upon me
that which is truly mine…
The power of Great Spirit…
Jaguar is home.
Dorset Oct 16th 2016