a complex pattern of black veins and outgrowths on a yellow background

Escape the Rabbit Hole of the Internet

If The Rabbit Hole IS The Internet then Lewis Carol was indeed the Shaman he seems to be judging by his visionary works. I’m of course referring to his masterpiece Alice in Wonderland; and how deep does it go…? Good question, and entirely unanswerable. The internet is something that has never existed in the known history of mankind and i think it’s important to remember this. I’ll tell you why in a bit.

I see the Internet as an external manifestation of the human mind. The real question though is when we realize that we are caught in it…as beautiful as the landscape might be, we do have real lives to attend to.

Lets face it head on. The internet is a drug, like caffeine, like cocaine, like sugar, like lack of sleep. Yep! Getting off it requires the same kind of discipline that any habit takes to kick.

We know when it’s taking over, but we may not have acknowledged this on a conscious level. So, really. Everyday we’ve got to be dead honest with ourselves about how far caught in Wonderland we are, and asking ourselves the question, relentlessly; “Is this serving me NOW!?” and if it’s time to come back TO BE DECISIVE about it and WALK AWAY…NOW!

Practice time!!! See You Later!

😉

I am the Jedi Cleaner

I am all the cleaner for being a Jedi…unless I’m experimenting with dirt…which happens when I don’t shower for a week…mmm…sink washing is so austere…

I learnt to clean like a Jedi by first becoming a cleaner. And at the time I was already doing my training, so they informed one another in a curious way. Cleaning is like dancing, when you do it right. The dance is most exciting when it is effortless. It can be fun and absorbing. Me, the cleaning girl, liked the experience of being efficient anyway and this was instant gratification. Me, the trainee Jedi, was always bunking off (being mindless) but would come out when the drugs were around…ha ha….Jedi’s like to partake in mind altering professions and cleaning turned out to be just that….

I don’t digress…I merely clean.

Phoebe Thomasson

The great thing about Jedi training is that I can clean an oven with no fear…but when my Jedi lights are dim even I can give the greasy box the cold shoulder.

It takes rubber gloves for some. For me it takes Gary Numan and a tight black zippy top made from recycled plastic (you laugh…have you checked your Nike label lately?)

Cleaning and Religion

Cleaning is a curious profession. You get to revel in others’ left-overs….some of which are good, most of it is unhealthy. I came away with so much more than a bad case of ‘addicted to anything I can find’….coats, bikinis, scones and margarine…you know, holiday maker fare. Maaan, some of those places had really been enjoyed.

I must get on with the cleaning. Back Soon.

Find out what happens next…..later….. x

Success: plant growing through the concrete by txpotato

The Failure of the Concrete is the Plant’s Success: The Benefits of Not Succeeding…

As a follow up to my post of the other day (here) I am quite keen to share my latest thoughts on failure and how useful it can be on the path to success. I would go so far as to say that failure is an essential part of success! In other words I don’t think we can succeed, fully and deeply until we have had our fair share of fails.

Why do I say this? Well apart from the fact that all the experts in the field agree with me 😉 I am also reaching my own conclusions quite independently based on my own experience, which has, funnily enough included bags of failure if I’m honest about it! I flunked art school, quit jobs, got the sack from other jobs, failed to complete numerous courses, went a few times to classes and never went back…you name it I’ve ‘failed’ at it. I even sucked at door to door sales…but to be honest it was the most horrendous experience of my life so it was good to fail at that! I’ve not even mentioned the numerous relationships that have gone by the by! Now that was much more painful but I still learnt a lot about myself.

Anyway. My point being, that as a result of trying all these things and somehow finding I lacked the requisite know-how/discipline/organization or personality traits (patience, kindness, understanding, humility et al) I am still here! I didn’t die of shame, (even though I felt it for a while) and that’s the main thing! Sometimes we cling so dearly to a thing we believe we must succeed at, (despite it not feeling good in the slightest) that we entirely miss the point of it all.

Now I’m not suggesting for a minute that we don’t apply ourselves to things or ‘work’ at them but there are things in life that just ain’t our thing. If it is our thing but we don’t yet know it, and we just need more expertise or experience, then dropping it for a while, if needs be, will only serve to show us that it is our thing after all.

If something is a good fit, it will always come back to us in one form or another. Even people we love can remain our friends despite not working on an intimate level if we are open to that…

The beautiful thing about failure is that when we get good at it, it is like an art form in its own right. It becomes a process of letting go, like falling off a log. When we need to let go, it is right to let go, but we don’t because we cling to this fear of ‘the fail’ and unwittingly we arrest our own development.

Our process depends on failure!!!

What I’m suggesting is that we allow our natural tendency to fail at things to guide us towards what we will excel at! I’m sure you know the Thomas Edison story as he tried to invent the light bulb? Well that’s all well and good but do we know how to fail with grace and good feeling…and then carry on? Notice how, unlike Edison I am not denying the ‘failure’ thing. For me it has been more useful to accept it for what it is and move on. But interestingly enough both attitudes can benefit us; I’m just giving an alternative version! Whatever you want to call it…it’s important to carry on! Just try approaching something in a new way or take a new attitude, if it’s your thing that is! I guess the light bulb really was his thing!

The Paradox Strikes…

I didn’t get it for ages. The paradoxical revelation came for me when I started acknowledging that I had failed and that I was all right with that. As I came to terms with my lack of ‘follow through’ it ceased to matter so much and as the skies of self-recrimination cleared, I could finally see that alongside the fails were a whole bunch if successes!

Self-awareness, self-knowing and understanding are some of my best assets now. I know what turns me on and what leaves me cold and I choose to flow with the river of bliss and not the trudge of duty…

By learning about myself I can now control my destiny…more so than ever. If I had doggedly stuck with the first ‘job’ that had come along I’d still be washing dishes in a potato bar….I’m glad I got the sack! I’m glad I quit! I’m glad I didn’t go back.

Now I am following a path of my choosing and learning something exciting everyday! Now that’s what I call success!

The Weaning Process Of Life

Anyone who has ever been a devoted breastfeeding mum will probably relate to this easily but I think this may be relevent to many more such scenarios so bear this one out if you will.

Weaning     This is not a straightforward process. What in life is? If it’s a process at all it usually involves many convoluted twists and turns, backs and fills and sometimes the odd devil’s Switchback.

Like any process I am finding the only way to keep my head above the choppy waters of chaos is to really live in the moment and in my feeling body, not my thinking head.

I am learning (finally) that the head, or the thinking self at least, wherever that’s really located, is great when it comes to following prescriptive routes to a destination; turn left at the corner shop and go straight on till you come to a white office building etc.

However, when it comes to matters of timing, especially with a little one who has no mood filter, control management or desire modulator, it’s a whole new ball game.

Just like the ones you used to play throwing the ball against the wall, you never quite knew the angle it would ping next when it hits a different brick or paving slab.

Every throw is different, every catch unique and if you remember it took a lot of mindful attention in order to keep catching and throwing the ball in some sort of rhythm without losing momentum.

Becoming Minimalist

The same goes for my process toward minimalism.

There is no way I’m going to get there in a straight line. Forget it! This is a deeply intuitive process that has no complete end goal in sight. Only an ideal.

How does that work? Well, by now I have done a few years work on defining my wants, my needs and my desires and now I’m onto the dirty work of actually letting stuff go, culling the excess and purging that which no longer suits, all of which is correct and tickety boo.

But oh is it a long drawn out affair for me.  The clothing pile has once again appeared on the landing floor and I’ve actually arranged a car boot with my friend who is accompanying me in the purging process. I’m only doing it if it’s not raining (we both agree on this) and if I can’t get out of bed that early then, well, back to the charity shops.

I have a nasty habit of putting stuff out to be ‘donated’ and not doing it immediately (it’s Sunday, or half past four…whatever) and the clothes suddenly look oh so attractive and I find a use for them for the first time in 15 years! Yes I really do keep things forever. Entirely sentimental.

How are these things similar?

Well, inasmuch that they are both highly intuitive processes that involve a definite outcome (baby not on boob and clutter not in-house) but will take their time and winding ways to get there.  The processes both involve quite high degrees of emotional growth and resilience to avoid pitfalls and unwanted consequences of not following through (thirty year old having ‘bitty’ and living in paper mountain!).

Both processes, however, do have their natural progressions that would be hard to miss and thankfully nature will lend a big hand if I can simply trust the path that is opening before me as I step into the latest abyss.

Sometimes it’s as if, like Michael Jackson in his Billy Jean video, the way lights up beneath us, but only when we step on it!

I think there’s another song in there somewhere.

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