“In the darkness we may fear all manner of things that in the light of day are really nothing…”
Jaguar In The Woods
It is time to die
Time to release that which no longer serves me
My spirit is crying out for restoration
So I go into the woods in search of Jaguar…
I wield the sacred power of courage, held in my heart;
remembered through my tools;
The rattle, the paint brush, my voice, my dancing…
Courage takes me to my fear, face to face now we dance
I come down from my tree, stalking my terror, my prey
harnessing the medicine of life and death I say,
‘Give Me Back My Self!’
Jaguar flows through me now
with the grace of an assassin
fear yields to the touch of the brush on my face
warpaint on; I am hunting
I snake through the densely packed forest of my mind.
Snaring my fear I make the final blow
severing it’s life blood with my jaws
clenched in the bloody death of that which will now feed me.
As I die to my fearful self
power surges forward
for an instant I am transported
into lives past, unlived by me
the clench envelopes me now
curious in its transport
I let it go
as I let go to feel
I surrender once again
to the flow of moments
moving now from within my limbs
spirit urges me, and
messages from silent voices
I stand erect
and take upon me
that which is truly mine…
The power of Great Spirit…
Jaguar is home.
Dorset Oct 16th 2016
We can get lost in the woods
just like we get lost in ourselves
in our thoughts of future
in our regrets of past
in our longings
in our desires
and the dysfunctions of life.
But if we stop
just long enough
to listen to the silence
we may hear the guiding spirit
the still small voice
into it’s arms
waiting patiently in the moment
3rd Oct 2016
Yesterday was hard. Lots felt wrong. My friend Adam, didn’t feel like taking photos. We were all tired and slightly grumpy after another late Saturday of jamming excellent music. It was a glorious day; not to be missed and by four o’clock, I had rallied myself to capture the moment anyway, trusting that the spirit of kind positivity would bring us through.
We found a small camp in the woods and I set to painting my face with memories of my gigging days floating through. We got the last remaining rays of sunshine and I posed and made shapes in the shards of setting sunlight in the glade by the path. It somehow worked out, and then there is the uncanny sense, at least after the ‘event’ that everything went according to plan; as if you had one! The spontaneous plans are always the best!
It always amazes me how healing creative experiences can be. Once you have processed the shame and embarrassment of scaring passers by with your blacked out face, the thrill of the moment becomes more playful. ‘F**k It’ is our profane mantra in these moments. I’m not being bad. Just playful, irreverent, goodly dangerous to the status quo of holding and fear. The fear in our culture is all the more easy to see and feel when you are driving along looking like a coal miner back from work…. surreal!
Never mind the bollocks. The little shoot went well. I always have to overcome my fear of looking stupid or weird and I think it paid off in the end. I love the results and it illustrates the nature spirit of the woods as part of my Art Shaman theme of the present moment.
It’s all temporary anyway.