For more by Hybrid Skin
Copyright 2017 Phoebe Thomasson
For more by Hybrid Skin
Copyright 2017 Phoebe Thomasson
So what has 2016 really been about for me? Here is a list which appears endless and in no particular order but will trigger memories as I write and re-read.
Pushing boundaries and buttons; Dealing with old emotions and learning to let them go (Letting Go, by David R. Hawkins) Music revival, overcoming limitations, revealing my [true] self, becoming whole, letting things be as they are, accepting myself, Dreams and dreaming, Shamanic practices; Owning my Shadow; Pushing the envelope; producing work; Showing work; Expansion; relinquishing fears; Exploring Sexuality; Healing old wounds; Expression; Ego development; Going beyond ego; Accepting ego; Allowing personality; Medicine plants; Persistence; Perseverance; Projects; Flying; Feet on the ground, head in the stars; Websites, Technology, uses of technology, Boundaries with technology, turning it off, turning it on; Exploring Eroticism, Energy work; Fun; Friends; Social time; Jamming; Modelling; Painting, body painting, photography, film video, editing, aligning; Playing music and games; Imaginary stories; Inner travels; Seeing, Instruments; Talent; Practices; Spontaneity; Goals; Desire; Speaking up; Risking, YouTube, Vimeo; Apps; iPhone; Connections; Polyamory; Learning; Including, centring, focus, being peaceful, sharing; Home Education, unschooling; Difference; Troubadours; Singing; Voice; Chakras; Spirit Guides; People; Politics; Death, dying, caring, dementia, help; Reaching out; Asking (The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer); Chemistry, elements, Periodic table, Maps, globe, geography, children play dates, groups, Facebook, Patreon, intimacy, silence, health, cancer, accidents, sickness, tolerance, sacred space, energies, psychic activities, intuition, listening, heeding, responding, reactivity, time/ no-time, science, quantum knowing, quantum physics, engineering, fixing, mending, throwing away, decluttering, attachment, cleansing, toxins, food, responsibility, home, heart, feelings, positive, negative, magnetism, surrender, Redemption/Redemptive Love, service, emergencies, coping, perspective, support, choices, empathy, limits, rights, reprehensibility, celebrations, drinking, smoking, alcohol, nicotine, magic, mushrooms, walks, nature, connection, foraging, gathering, collective, tribes, gang, den, fires, wood burners, wood, axes, garden camping, collective, printing, t-shirts, clothes, style, mirrors, image, makeup, face paint, dance, trance, Shamanic journeying, autonomy, Spirit Guides, guidance, meditation, yoga, experimentation, states of mind, psychedelic, experiences, Art Exhibition, Dorset, arts, public, space, invasion, happiness, art business, discipline, marketing, failing, learning, winning……
Ah. That’s life Jim. But not as we know it… its’ just words. The love is in the living and I’ve been growing happier this year. All is well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Sail on into a new leaf of life….Blessed be in 2017. x
“When I paint
It’s like being at the event horizon
I don’t know what is happening next
Time is stretched out of shape
Into perpetual motion and profound stillness all at once
It’s very dark
But like the dawn before the sun kisses the horizon
There is hope;
I want to illuminate the darkness…”
This is early days for me, producing artwork, making video’s and getting back into myself after 5 years of being a first time parent with ME/CFS.
I’m not exhausted anymore, but I’m still playing catch up with myself. I’m not quite yet the person I want to be but I am definitely getting closer.
Support my work
Join me on my journey of discovery and healing. I don’t know what’s happening next… there is always so much going on.
“To meet one another through the arts is a sharing most profound and helps to cement our human likeness.”
Music is now firmly on my plate again and it feels amazing. There is a lot we need to get going in the way that I want but we’ve got half the kit and lots of commitment.
The art bobs nicely alongside the music and when I get deeper in I will quickly produce work. I intend to make videos on different things.. crazy art house stuff to informative instruction.
“Art is the antidote to conflict.”
Why support me? Well perhaps because I am one of those who know they are on the cutting edge… I’m on a life long journey, understanding the human psyche and how to fully connect with other humans, and our deeply divine yet wildish natures.
I healed myself, and am still in that process. In my twenties I experienced mental break down and spiritual emergence in the form of Schizophrenia… so I have a lot to say on mental illness, well-being, being sane and dealing with the madness that lurks within the deep dark places that we call ‘Shadow’.
I am these days, more than ever, acquainted with my Shadow aspects as a result of places I’ve been in my psyche, and I have some rare insights that need a structure and an outlet. Art, music, video…
The power of creativity can be deeply transformative, and I wish to bring my healing experience and understanding to my practice, giving something back to the collective in our endeavour to heal the human soul, and anneal the spirit.
Patreon is all about your support, and my being willing to give what I can to enrich your life. It means I am more free to focus on the artistic process and not the grind of making money… anathema to the artist.
Help me reach that wonderful state of immersion in the purity of the creative process and I will see what I can divine and return to you from the depths of the deep!
I have to credit Carl Gustav Jung with the original quote which was as follows.
“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”
I read it in a book and it stuck but I’ve paraphrased it because it is so spot on. How many times in daily life do we reach for the outside option to make ourselves feel better?
Anyway, please check out my video above and perhaps see you around a little.
Thanks for your visit.
Header photo artwork by:
To see my art:
I’ve always been a scaredy cat
how did I get over that?
I didn’t but I kind of did
but it got over me.
I wish I had your courage
your boldness and your flourish
but I was told to simmer down
to stop being wild!
And so I did!
I stayed quiet when I wanted to shout
so scared of not being liked by you
but therein lies the prison!
I set me free!
Photo artwork by:
For my paintings:
“The place God calls us to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet”
The Minecraft Model of Viewing & Navigating Relationships…
Our own conditions; internal weather (moods), agendas (hopes?), desires and intentions, shape the feeling landscape in which we navigate and perceive our own BIOME.
When two or more BIOMES interact, the dynamics are expanded and more complex and therefor require even more skillful navigation.
The landscape changes as the map expands, and new territory will bring new challenges; fears, excitement, the lure of adventure.
And yet when night falls and we are surrounded by zombies, we ether must fight them or return to home base and sleep.
But what if we have no bed, or can’t find it?
RUN or FIGHT…?
Hide or ?…
In the heat of battle we are only as good as our last blow…
…and what if we die?
Isn’t this a bit how we see our relationships at times? When in crisis we feel like we are literally fighting monsters. How do we make the landscape safe? We can’t.
The best we can do is to keep on with the awareness that we are dealing with a different landscape, in the other person.
There will be differing climate conditions for them, and it’s worth remembering always that they are fighting their own battles and mining for their own diamonds.
We are not the ‘same’ but we are in the same ‘game’.
Essentially we all want the same thing though we will get it in different ways.
What makes sense is to remember the differences in context with the similarities. What does this look like in practice? Holding two different control sticks?
Life is like a handset; how skillfully we use the controller will define how well the game goes for us.
When we are learning how to navigate relationships, we must remember that we may be a bit cack-handed at first, and to forgive ourselves and others for our lack of skill.
A good game player will forgive you your inconsistencies, if you remember the game is the game and to keep on smiling and having fun.
Admittedly, it may be traumatic to lose all your stuff every time you die, but really, those little deaths are really no big deal.
Little deaths are about letting go. Letting go of being ‘right’, just for the moment. Letting go of the moral high ground, just for the moment (or forever!).
So your ego is a bit battered right now… So what? that’s just dents in your armour!
Get back in the game with good humour as soon as possible and keep on learning those skills like non-violent communication, reflective listening, meditation, nutrition… you have to think of everything to be a good citizen of Minecraft and, of the world!
For more parallels between Minecraft and ‘life’ check this out!
Thanks to freelargeimages.com
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I wish to empower young people with the tools and understanding needed to navigate personal relationships and enable joyful lives.
For my art please visit
“In the darkness we may fear all manner of things that in the light of day are really nothing…”
Jaguar In The Woods
It is time to die
Time to release that which no longer serves me
My spirit is crying out for restoration
So I go into the woods in search of Jaguar…
I wield the sacred power of courage, held in my heart;
remembered through my tools;
The rattle, the paint brush, my voice, my dancing…
Courage takes me to my fear, face to face now we dance
I come down from my tree, stalking my terror, my prey
harnessing the medicine of life and death I say,
‘Give Me Back My Self!’
Jaguar flows through me now
with the grace of an assassin
fear yields to the touch of the brush on my face
warpaint on; I am hunting
I snake through the densely packed forest of my mind.
Snaring my fear I make the final blow
severing it’s life blood with my jaws
clenched in the bloody death of that which will now feed me.
As I die to my fearful self
power surges forward
for an instant I am transported
into lives past, unlived by me
the clench envelopes me now
curious in its transport
I let it go
as I let go to feel
I surrender once again
to the flow of moments
moving now from within my limbs
spirit urges me, and
messages from silent voices
I stand erect
and take upon me
that which is truly mine…
The power of Great Spirit…
Jaguar is home.
Dorset Oct 16th 2016
We can get lost in the woods
just like we get lost in ourselves
in our thoughts of future
in our regrets of past
in our longings
in our desires
and the dysfunctions of life.
But if we stop
just long enough
to listen to the silence
we may hear the guiding spirit
the still small voice
into it’s arms
waiting patiently in the moment
3rd Oct 2016
Yesterday was hard. Lots felt wrong. My friend Adam, didn’t feel like taking photos. We were all tired and slightly grumpy after another late Saturday of jamming excellent music. It was a glorious day; not to be missed and by four o’clock, I had rallied myself to capture the moment anyway, trusting that the spirit of kind positivity would bring us through.
We found a small camp in the woods and I set to painting my face with memories of my gigging days floating through. We got the last remaining rays of sunshine and I posed and made shapes in the shards of setting sunlight in the glade by the path. It somehow worked out, and then there is the uncanny sense, at least after the ‘event’ that everything went according to plan; as if you had one! The spontaneous plans are always the best!
It always amazes me how healing creative experiences can be. Once you have processed the shame and embarrassment of scaring passers by with your blacked out face, the thrill of the moment becomes more playful. ‘F**k It’ is our profane mantra in these moments. I’m not being bad. Just playful, irreverent, goodly dangerous to the status quo of holding and fear. The fear in our culture is all the more easy to see and feel when you are driving along looking like a coal miner back from work…. surreal!
Never mind the bollocks. The little shoot went well. I always have to overcome my fear of looking stupid or weird and I think it paid off in the end. I love the results and it illustrates the nature spirit of the woods as part of my Art Shaman theme of the present moment.
It’s all temporary anyway.
Unpacking the suitcase of our brain
we must start again
Think we know it all
We must realize
there is no prize
But happiness is enough
That’s what I know
Happiness is everything
we want to show
…carry on! But not at what you are blocked at!
….. do something different, get into a better feeling but allow the sense of being blocked to tell you, teach you, reach you… don’t fight it… it may be that you are knackered and need to slow down and listen to your body; take a break, make a video, do a course, download a new book or ten, go for a walk every day for a month?
Do something or do nothing, whatever you do, do it consciously. Oh today I feel like quitting all my jobs. Well, do it, mentally first. Try it out first on paper; what does it feel like? what are you actually trying to achieve that is eluding you?
Talk about it! Talk to whoever loves you enough to listen. Say that you really appreciate their time and say you don’t need solutions; only to be heard. Your block wants to be heard!
On your own? No bother; talk to the cosmic forces, the page, your higher self, the angels or ascended masters; it makes no difference. Your block wants to be heard. It needs to hear itself! It needs fluffed up and separated out of it’s knot.
De-knot. Loosen up. Tease it out. Talk to the page, a video camera, a voice recorder a mirror… whatever you can lay your hands on, use it to find out what your block wants to say!
The blocked state has as much to teach us about ourselves as our states of flow. Be kind to yourself when you are in it and respect the process, gently moving in a zig zag pattern out and away, we shift our focus until we can see the bigger picture.
It’s tactical. This is the art of the gentle war.
Peace will come again… never fear.