Why Do I Like Apples…so much?

If Apples = Men

I like Apples because:

I seek nourishment; because I am wired to; They help me know myself…They are delicious, food, natures medicine, full of nutrients, sunlight and vital forces…

Because I am Eve.
It is my lot to love an Apple!
Because from the Dawn of Time
I have known Apples to be
the source of my existence
and this is my sin!
My confusion, my knowing
that blocks out the One Central Thing
that makes me cover myself in shame;
The thing is
that I forgot that
The Apple is NOT GOD;
but the fruit of knowing God in man!
But I must learn this lesson well;
for many years, have I been deluded
By God; that Father,
God, that Son,
and I… The Ghost!
the mere ghost…
I set myself to wandering
alone in the desert,
no mortal man to hold me;
Inviolable, untouchable in my torment.

I sought for the apple tree within
and found only you, you and
you, again…
But you are NOT GOD
So how can I be SO mistaken?

So I know GOD through Apples
but do I know, can I know GOD
directly, by my own lights?
Can I come, finally, naked
open handed, surrendered
and say
God, I looked for you everywhere
But I found only Apples!
They are sweet but they are not you,
and I am mere Mortal;
Wounded and seeking
comfort.

This Apple would only feed me
for so long, but I seek
life eternal, life beyond life
I seek your Source now;
only you.
I no longer seek Apples.
They are what they are;
They appear, are eaten
or being eaten by other insects
and I feel abundant.
But there is only one
after all…
The Apple Tree itself belongs to You!

March 28th 2017

I wrote this after a long and painful night letting go my attachment to a friend. I love him dearly but it is not time for us to go beyond the simplicity of friendship. I accept this, though it hurts me greatly. I’m sure the pain is cleansing. Ouch. Healing HURTS!!!

Earlier in the day whilst we were hanging out he looked for a bag of apples and couldn’t find them. Later he told me he had found them after all. I said I wanted his apple! Ha! Anyway, we played with the metaphor of apples representing men… and he asked my why I loved apples so much?

I had to pause and really think about this one, (hence the title) and the depth I found was actually quite religious in it’s tone. Quite. I thought, yes! This love with attachment is what hurts. It would do me well to reconnect with my source energy and stop mooning over him like he would be all the answers to my emptiness. Maybe he would be for a while, but then, when I’ve eaten his flesh and sucked him dry… then what…?

Back to the apple tree…

Eye Of Horus: Bird God Sees All

When I fly high
i see all of humanity
locked in its own embrace
trying to curl in
upon itself
and carry on sleeping
but….
its time to wake up
from our slumber
and call to arms
the armies of angelic host
to help us conquor our own fear

Right now

Awaken your vision….

GALLERY-Portfolio-Work-in-Progress

ART Collection: Space Beings & Imaginary Friends

Copyright©Phoebe Thomasson 2016

For information on purchasing artwork please make contact here

Source: ART Collection: Space Beings & Imaginary Friends

UV Tribal Bodypaint Studio Shots #HybridSkin #DigitalArt

For more by Hybrid Skin

Copyright 2017 Phoebe Thomasson

close up of a bryophyte a green moss type plant

Snapshot; End of 2016: Stream of Consciousness ‘Happenings’ Word List…

So what has 2016 really been about for me? Here is a list which appears endless and in no particular order but will trigger memories as I write and re-read.

Pushing boundaries and buttons; Dealing with old emotions and learning to let them go (Letting Go, by David R. Hawkins) Music revival, overcoming limitations, revealing my [true] self, becoming whole, letting things be as they are, accepting myself, Dreams and dreaming, Shamanic practices; Owning my Shadow; Pushing the envelope; producing work; Showing work; Expansion; relinquishing fears;  Exploring Sexuality; Healing old wounds; Expression; Ego development; Going beyond ego; Accepting ego; Allowing personality; Medicine plants; Persistence; Perseverance; Projects; Flying; Feet on the ground, head in the stars; Websites, Technology, uses of technology, Boundaries with technology, turning it off, turning it on; Exploring Eroticism, Energy work; Fun; Friends; Social time; Jamming; Modelling; Painting, body painting, photography, film video, editing, aligning; Playing music and games; Imaginary stories; Inner travels; Seeing, Instruments; Talent; Practices; Spontaneity; Goals; Desire; Speaking up; Risking, YouTube, Vimeo; Apps; iPhone; Connections; Polyamory; Learning; Including, centring, focus, being peaceful, sharing; Home Education, unschooling; Difference; Troubadours; Singing; Voice; Chakras; Spirit Guides; People; Politics; Death, dying, caring, dementia, help; Reaching out; Asking (The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer); Chemistry, elements, Periodic table, Maps, globe, geography, children play dates, groups, Facebook, Patreon, intimacy, silence, health, cancer, accidents, sickness, tolerance, sacred space, energies, psychic activities, intuition, listening, heeding, responding, reactivity, time/ no-time, science, quantum knowing, quantum physics, engineering, fixing, mending, throwing away, decluttering, attachment, cleansing, toxins, food, responsibility, home, heart, feelings, positive, negative, magnetism, surrender, Redemption/Redemptive Love, service, emergencies, coping, perspective, support, choices, empathy, limits, rights, reprehensibility, celebrations, drinking, smoking, alcohol, nicotine, magic, mushrooms, walks, nature, connection, foraging, gathering, collective, tribes, gang, den, fires, wood burners, wood, axes, garden camping, collective, printing, t-shirts, clothes, style, mirrors, image, makeup, face paint, dance, trance, Shamanic journeying, autonomy, Spirit Guides, guidance, meditation, yoga, experimentation, states of mind, psychedelic, experiences, Art Exhibition, Dorset, arts, public, space, invasion, happiness, art business, discipline, marketing, failing, learning, winning……

Letting go.

Ah. That’s life Jim. But not as we know it… its’ just words. The love is in the living and I’ve been growing happier this year. All is well, and all manner of things shall be well.

Sail on into a new leaf of life….Blessed be in 2017. x

a red headed woman holds a seedling sprout and contemplates destiny
Spirit of Nature

www.ptartworks.com

 

When I Paint, I See Everything…

“When I paint

It’s like being at the event horizon
I don’t know what is happening next
Time is stretched out of shape
Into perpetual motion and profound stillness all at once
It’s very dark
But like the dawn before the sun kisses the horizon
There is hope;
I want to illuminate the darkness…”

This is early days for me, producing artwork, making video’s and getting back into myself after 5 years of being a first time parent with ME/CFS.
I’m not exhausted anymore, but I’m still playing catch up with myself. I’m not quite yet the person I want to be but I am definitely getting closer.

Support my work

http://www.patreon.com/artshaman
Join me on my journey of discovery and healing. I don’t know what’s happening next… there is always so much going on.

“To meet one another through the arts is a sharing most profound and helps to cement our human likeness.”

Music is now firmly on my plate again and it feels amazing. There is a lot we need to get going in the way that I want but we’ve got half the kit and lots of commitment.
The art bobs nicely alongside the music and when I get deeper in I will quickly produce work. I intend to make videos on different things.. crazy art house stuff to informative instruction.

“Art is the antidote to conflict.”

Why support me? Well perhaps because I am one of those who know they are on the cutting edge… I’m on a life long journey, understanding the human psyche and how to fully connect with other humans, and our deeply divine yet wildish natures.

HYBRID SKIN DIGITAL ART

I healed myself, and am still in that process. In my twenties I experienced mental break down and spiritual emergence in the form of Schizophrenia… so I have a lot to say on mental illness, well-being, being sane and dealing with the madness that lurks within the deep dark places that we call ‘Shadow’.

I am these days, more than ever, acquainted with my Shadow aspects as a result of places I’ve been in my psyche, and I have some rare insights that need a structure and an outlet. Art, music, video…

The power of creativity can be deeply transformative, and I wish to bring my healing experience and understanding to my practice, giving something back to the collective in our endeavour to heal the human soul, and anneal the spirit.

Patreon is all about your support, and my being willing to give what I can to enrich your life. It means I am more free to focus on the artistic process and not the grind of making money… anathema to the artist.
Help me reach that wonderful state of immersion in the purity of the creative process and I will see what I can divine and return to you from the depths of the deep!

website: www.ptartworks.com
blog: www.artshaman.uk

Got A Bad Mood?

I have to credit Carl Gustav Jung with the original quote which was as follows.

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes”

I read it in a book and it stuck but I’ve paraphrased it because it is so spot on. How many times in daily life do we reach for the outside option to make ourselves feel better?

Anyway, please check out my video above and perhaps see you around a little.

Thanks for your visit.

Phoebe

🙂

Header photo artwork by:

ADAM WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY

To see my art:

PHOEBE THOMASSON ARTWORKS

I set me free

I’ve always been a scaredy cat
how did I get over that?
I didn’t but I kind of did
but it got over me.

I wish I had your courage
your boldness and your flourish
but I was told to simmer down
to stop being wild!

And so I did!
I stayed quiet when I wanted to shout
so scared of not being liked by you
but therein lies the prison!

I set me free!

P.Thomasson
Nov 2016

Photo artwork by:

Adamwhitephotography

For my paintings:

www.ptartworks.com

Little Dying

I am discovering new ways to die.

I now die to that which no longer serves me: doubt, fear, grief, impatience.

I now wish to learn through love.

I now reach out to spirit with my arms.

I remember my presence is enough.

I sit in nature and breathe.

So Han.

 For More…

ART

logo_red_hand

Most of all. Remember.

 

Live, Work, Play Together: Digging For Diamonds…Minecraft & Love…

“The place God calls us to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet”

Frederick Buechner

The Minecraft Model of Viewing & Navigating Relationships…

A relationship is a BIOME created by two separate yet intertwined BIOMES.

Our own conditions; internal weather (moods), agendas (hopes?), desires and intentions, shape the feeling landscape in which we navigate and perceive our own BIOME.

When two or more BIOMES interact, the dynamics are expanded and more complex and therefor require even more skillful navigation.

The landscape changes as the map expands, and new territory will bring new challenges; fears, excitement, the lure of adventure.

And yet when night falls and we are surrounded by zombies, we ether must fight them or return to home base and sleep.

But what if we have no bed, or can’t find it?

RUN or FIGHT…?

Hide or ?…

In the heat of battle we are only as good as our last blow…

…and what if we die?

minecraft_wallpaper_02

Parallel Worlds?

Isn’t this a bit how we see our relationships at times? When in crisis we feel like we are literally fighting monsters. How do we make the landscape safe? We can’t.

The best we can do is to keep on with the awareness that we are dealing with a different landscape, in the other person.

There will be differing climate conditions for them, and it’s worth remembering always that they are fighting their own battles and mining for their own diamonds.

We are not the ‘same’ but we are in the same ‘game’.

Essentially we all want the same thing though we will get it in different ways.

Minecraft_Wallpaper_03.jpg

What makes sense is to remember the differences in context with the similarities. What does this look like in practice? Holding two different control sticks?

Life is like a handset; how skillfully we use the controller will define how well the game goes for us.

When we are learning how to navigate relationships, we must remember that we may be a bit cack-handed at first, and to forgive ourselves and others for our lack of skill.

A good game player will forgive you your inconsistencies, if you remember the game is the game and to keep on smiling and having fun.

Admittedly, it may be traumatic to lose all your stuff every time you die, but really, those little deaths are really no big deal.

Little deaths are about letting go. Letting go of being ‘right’, just for the moment. Letting go of the moral high ground, just for the moment (or forever!).

So your ego is a bit battered right now… So what? that’s just dents in your armour!

Get back in the game with good humour as soon as possible and keep on learning those skills like non-violent communication, reflective listening, meditation, nutrition… you have to think of everything to be a good citizen of Minecraft and, of the world!

minecraft_wallpaper_01

For more parallels between Minecraft and ‘life’ check this out!

Minecraft versus String Theory

minecraft_wallpaper_04

Thanks to freelargeimages.com

If you enjoyed this post please share it and subscribe to my blog.

I wish to empower young people with the tools and understanding needed to navigate personal relationships and enable joyful lives.

For my art please visit

PTARTWORKS.COM