a woman sits surrounded by words with buddha next to her

Word Soup

It appears an unfortunate fact that the more I fly free in my ways, and embrace my powers of intellect and conversation, that the effect produced within you is one of insecurity and an appearance of being squashed. Hence the ability to relax and enjoy company whilst feeling thus threatened is marred and overshadowed by ones habitual response in blaming the other for being not desirable In ones behaviour. In you I perceive a disapproval that is brought forth by your struggles to stay connected to a flowing river of words that spew forth from my mouth, which has upon me the effect to feel further in the wrong way of things and defensive of my position as free woman enjoying my respect given freely by friends, but not by you, although you would argue otherwise because though the effects of my [not at you] focus are to feel like a [dis-empowerment], you are at once stuck in your own conundrum whether and how to extract yourself from said feeling of diminished comfort and confidence into a blame that would be inappropriate given the very nature of blame which is to shut down the other with a label of wrongness attached. I know you do not seek to fetter me but there must be some compensation for you in a night’s accommodation of friends whom you must also enjoy the company of so it comes to that which I can only say that I shamelessly dominated the said conversation [the night] and you being of more altruistic nature let me take centre stage with little regard for your own well-being. In this I can only fault you for your lack of confidence against my domination and say that without your countering me I will most willingly hold court without recourse to your opinion in any matter should you choose to allow me without interruption or battle for place. Or feel confident in my love for you which you plainly do not, in the absence of affection which you cannot.

Or I could just shut the fuck up and listen to YOU!

Why the world is full of blithering idiots, and why I’m to blame….

Whoa…

Well you can tell what kind of mood I was in when I devised the title for this post. Well yes, steaming angry with a little bitty sneaky sense of humourous insight…well after a time anyway. Kind of neat, as they say across the pond.

Let me expand if you will.

The world is full of blithering idiots. This indeed is a fact, according to my angry brain when it is incensed at some ‘stupidity’ that has just befallen the household, for example, letting a two-year old carry a huge vase of flowers will result in a puddle on the carpet. As I said, blithering idiot, daddy of said two-year old is the current favorite.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Inflamed righteous anger mind now joins lots of random ‘stupid’ dots and sees that lo and behold, ‘it’ is actually surrounded by blithering idiots, um…most of the time…oh no, in fact it is incorrect. It turns out that actually, the whole, entire world is most definitely without a doubt beyond recognition in fact…. in actual fact totally FULL OF BLITHERING IDIOTS!!!!!

Hm.

Well, yes. I’m partially ashamed to say it, and equally partially relieved to admit that this ‘it’ is indeed, my mind.

Wahoooooo!

Look at me, I’m out of the I’m a hundred per cent positive closet and am now a fully fledged ‘real’ person with negative shit, and shit…..Phew! I thought you might judge me harshly and think ‘Oh My God! What a perfectly awful person, I shall definitely avoid her in the future, she is definitely not on the perfect list, avoid! avoid! I am a Dalek!!!’

Except you’re not a Dalek are you. And, hey I have a negative streak a mile wide that thinks you are a blithering idiot, but really that’s my fault….isn’t it….see?