image of a mans face with slightly deranged eyes title fragile brain pen and ink sketch with words by uk contemporary artist phoebe thomasson

It may be Hellish, but at least I’m here!

Recovery isn’t all about getting better. It’s also about adjusting, changing, accepting and releasing. We can need multiple processes to happen before we start to feel better in the way we desire to.

Just to give you an idea how this applies in the real world here is an insight into my current little drama.

Somehow, due to numerous factors I’ve manage to put my back out good and proper. I’ve been to the chiropractor and there is a loosening in process. I think in terms of blocked energy because after years of practical healing and recovery from multiple things, I now know it counts, and is real. Think life force/prana/chi or whatever vibes with you.

OK. So I identified my little psychological process that has been activated into my awareness. Here it is and goes something like this.

  • long term illness means you are cut off from previous modes of functioning.
  • we adjust our world accordingly and create our own alternatives.
  • life becomes a reflection of our ‘own little world’.
  • we recover! yay!
  • we come up against the need to ‘re-enter’ the rest of the world or the ‘real’ version of it.
  • we resist because we quite like it here.
  • we know this world and have lost the ability to be anything else so why not just stay?
  • we create something else to distract us from the growth process.
  • more pain!
  • yay! pain works a treat…it’s a different part of the body which is quite a change, I think I can continue to be dysfunctional after all!
  • Wait a minute! did I just say that?
  • Goddam it…I’m going to beat this things too!
  • And so we strive….

Onward we go and heal the next malady. But did we stop to consider why we create all this hassle? Here’s one perspective, for when you are into having a philosophical musing…

I believe illness teaches us more about compassion, resilience, tenacity, honesty, strength, weakness, reaching out, friends, loved ones, family, challenges, love, life and humanity than being a super-I-never-get-sick kind of guy ever will.

My dad was one of those and within a year he was dead with Cancer.

I’m ok with my bad back thanks…at least I’m alive.

 

Wouldn’t it be nice if one day there were no locks on your doors?

Well, I’m not talking about your real doors of course, though this would suggest that we’ve finally reached the utopian ideal of a peaceful golden age where no one needs to lock anything and that would indeed be lovely. No. I’m talking about your creative castle doors which are far more accessible than utopia and easier to unlock than you may imagine.

In the last blog Strategies for Unlocking the Creative Castle I talked about lock one which is the #trimmings and peripherals lock which needs some fun experimentation and a moderate amount of information gathering.

I hope you got some insights into what turns your lights on and spins your taps to full-bore? If not go and read it again and have a happy week experimenting.

If you fancy doing things in no particular order I fully endorse that too. Here we go.

Lock #Two: MINDSET

I am an artist who likes to do things in completely crazy and unconventional ways
I am an artist who can work in many different mediums at any time I choose
I am a writer, I’m not being an artist with paint today but with words
I am a tired artist who has done enough writing for now and will go to bed
I am an artist sleeping in an artistic way dreaming up inspiration for tomorrow

Ok. there are a few mindsets for you. Pick one and ride with it for an hour, a day, a minute. Whatever works NOW and takes you to the next NOW.

DO NOT dawdle in grey indecision. Know that you are there and beat a hasty retreat. Where? Somewhere…clean the bath for all I care just get out of the greyness. It is not a good place for you to be. Your locks will rust with boredom and no key will be able to reach you.

Find a mindset. Experiment. Say how great you are…go on!pretend! If it works it works. Now experiment some more and find some paper and a pen…there you go….see? Easy does it….

BABY STEPS towards the door. Turn the key carefully and don’t choke on the dust when you open the tomb. You in? Good.

This room is going to get a makeover!

See what we did there? Yay!

It’s called a visualization. Sorry for the patronizing tone there but my mind is loving it and so should yours; it’s a playful child-like thing if you are creatively invested in it so it really doesn’t mind the odd patronization. Only adults fear being talked down to so you have to try to circumvent the grown up and tell it to be something important like an ‘observer’ and observe the rules of St. Fu….in other words Shut The F*** Up. No offence intended, honest guv.

Good. Now the child can play.

Enter Stage Left: Quiet peace and wonder. They all play with wooden bricks and smile as the sun streams through the window. {Laughter}

That’s the feeling. The magic when you are in your castle. From whence does it cometh?

Mind set. Mind set. Mind set.

It’s a play. It’s scenery. It’s music, mood and lighting. It’s lines delivered and audience wooed. It’s theatre. That’s the mind. That’s the scene, NOW you are the dancing queen….

Argghh! how did Abba get in?…they get in everywhere! Exactly. Do you remember the dreaminess on their faces? The Glow and The Shine? The trousers…er…they had the MIND SET!

Go play…
Go dream…
Go look at who your imagination says you can be…

That’s key #2 in a nutshell.
Right there.

🙂