Definately defining definition defiantly

Ok. So I’m obsessed with definitions. Like the sharp edge of a leaf silhouetted against the twilight sky.

The question came in response to a post on friendstream; good old Desiderata.

“Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in these changing fortunes of time.”

Todays meditation, children, is on Career. What constitutes a Career and how do we see ourselves in the roles that a Career entails?

Do I have a Career even if it makes no money or is that essentially a Vocation? (or Hobby?).

I love and do not love my Career as an artist. Sometimes it makes no sense to me why I paint at all, but the urge to do so remains as if compelled by deeper forces. What am I actually doing when I create a picture and how is this a worthy career? If other people like my work is it more valid or does it have autonomy from the opinions of others, even me; existing in its own right?

Phoebe Thomasson

Career; (1.) Swift course, impetus (in full, mid etc ~); course or progress through life; development and success of party, principle, nation, etc; Way of making a livelihood (a~ diplomat, a professional); hence ~IST  3. n. one intent mainly on personal advancement and success in life. (2.) V.I, Go swiftly or wildly (often about). [f. F Carriere f. lt. -iera f. ROM. etc.

From The Concise Oxford Dictionary

Well, that answers my question on many levels. So. A career isn’t necessarily about, but does include a way through life as a ‘professional’ (which is a term that demands awholenother meditation so we won’t go there). We all know what that means for now.

So, lets explore some of these definitions as related, for argument’s sake, to my Art ‘career’.

To let you in on the process here, I’m often very disparaging about my art/painting (at least internally; I think I’m making some of the right noises on the outside but this archetypal negativity and wet blanketing is still deeply set). I often put it {my painting} down as nothing much important and it must often play second fiddle to the rest of my life whilst the rest of me is shouting to bring it up in the priority levels; seemingly it’s a conflict zone in there. Then I wonder why I feel so blocked. The blocks are never much about subject matter; there is always plenty of that floating round my brain. I think it’s more to do with m…m….m….I can hardly say it…go on…alright; motivation! That is, if you believe, as I think I do, that clear motivation comes from good definition of why you are doing it in the first place.

There. No really, can it be that simple. Yes, but, no.  See this is such a big subject I can hardly scrape the surface here in this limited time/space.  I digress.

What I am looking for is a more appropriate view with which to see my creative endeavors for as I can now say ‘my career’ with some certainty I feel I need to give proper credence to this travelling companion who has ofttimes charted my ‘course or progress through life‘.  I love this definition and it entirely suits my purpose for this thought stream because I am looking for v…v…validation in what I do!  Here’s why; because I see it as more than a Hobby (although when I look at this definition~

Hobby n. favorite subject or occupation that is not one’s main business;

~I am not certain that it does not qualify as one of those either!)…It’s certainly not a business after all and I find that word distasteful still after all my years of trying it out in relation to my creations, even if it {business} is said to be growing some ‘heart’. I still doubt that. It is still another term that sounds wrong.  Perhaps ‘hobbyist’ is a kinder more friendly term which takes any pressure off (I’m a closet workaholic who hasn’t really found the door; only to Narnia).  I don’t like pressure, it sends me barmy where for some it is their salve and their stimulation.

Whoa. This is heavier than I thought. I need a break.

{Takes a break}

I’m back but it’s too late to continue this. This is actually something I started the other week when we were in Orkney and I’ve got a can of worms to munch through here. All good stuff. Lets see what tomorrow brings. I’m going to career off into bed now.

Nighty Night.