I dream of standing speaking my words from soul song into your eyes, direct line from mine; channels open beneath me is my heart, throbbing lust into my words. I dream of standing alone in the void uncluttered at ease, a million to one chance of survival embodied, emboldened by you and you joined. What am I doing? here it is again that 'run out' feeling where am I? escaping to the inner countryside where my cottage in the sun waits patiently for me to flee the city's gravity. Its ok I'm fine! my feet firmly planted this time, this song all mine. I rival her but with a twist for rivalry is not really my style at all is there something I've missed? It's more of a sharing a collective bean-bag of thought each thought is a tiny polystyrene bead like quick silver it weight something is highly toxic (to most) and endlessly alluring only the experience need apply for the position 'poet'.
My life is perfect
in this moment…
I really feel that
then the question…
How can it be?
I don’t mean
that I am perfect!
It means more like,
that I am fully engaged
in this awareness
that I am here
to appreciate this moment
and all that surrounds me…
The sparkle of light,
off the metallic disk
on a hanging scarf
The ache of my arm
as I write,
racing to the line’s end
that undulates the curtain,
as it winds
from open window
filled with sweet spring air
The long awaited
sun filled bird-song,
as nature wakes
from her penumbral slumber
The light dancing
behind my eyes,
as I register
my own experience
with what is
This is perfect…
Today I need to….
Cultivate Strength, one hour at a time.
Cultivate Bravery, to meet my own weaknesses.
Cultivate Determination to overcome my limitations.
Cultivate Fitness I wish, that I may lift you up.
Cultivate Perspective that this is my journey; destination unknown.
No-one else is on it with me unless I share it.
I hit a bit of a crisis today. Things went pear shaped for a minute, but I remembered that I could choose how things went by my response. I remembered that I have a choice, always. I can respond negatively or creatively.
I chose to allow myself my full gamut of feeling, as insane as it was for a minute, then throttle back and consider what was being said to me. Consider how I could change my perspective and see things in a more hopeful way.
I ended up giving myself the pep talk I was looking for externally. The thing is that it’s never as good from someone else. Our own reassurance or ‘inner sense’ is definitely tailor made for us if we can muster the space to talk intelligently to ourselves.
I also realized that I don’t need to tolerate my acting the fool, inside and out if it’s not productive. I can tell that stupid voice to shut up if I think it is being unreasonable. In short, I can control my own mind, then no-one else need do it for me.
….Cultivate trust in myself.
I just awoke from a dream….not seconds.ago…and this was the journey that I saw…
Like travellers we strode
And mountain ridge
Like gritty royal characters
The peasants we did pass
We looked up from our toil
To see the royal throng
We stopped with wonder
As we saw ourselves go by
We were transvestites on the beach
Hollering with love and confusion
Dressed in our cross referenced illusion
We looked up to see the punks
Running towards us through the sand
We were charging skins red raw from battle
Worn with tattooed sides and red blood
Running in veins so wild
As we flew towards our quarry
Till we saw the whites of their eyes
And stopped….amazed at seeing
We were landed gentry
Enjoying feasting off the fat of the land
I took her hand
Silken gown flowing down
Not far removed from the royalty
You were my servant when I spied you near
I looked up to see my lord’s eyes
Over serving caviare and scones did I then
Come to realize
There was something of me
Behind those wine soaked eyes
I was buccaneer in my office with my phone
Leather case now replace breeches
But my pirate nature with me
Has eternally flown
I steal your money
You’re women your rent
I saw in my whore something new
A her blouse I tore asunder
I saw the thunder in his heart
As wantonly I took my legs
Apart at the seams you took me there
There was something in that
I almost choked on my red soaked
Lips when I saw my child
My former bliss
In your eyes I am your mother
We all came round the corner
Up the street to where Goliath’s meet and he was gin-soaked
Riding a horse of Gothic
He was waiting
But not waiting
The witch and the warden
the characters all came to him and he nodded
Off to the egg with his weighty smile
Revealed from the door
Those eyes once more…
Sat in the space pod
Was myself; it was me from the outside!
The circle complete
Ourselves we did meet…
Though my poetry’s bad
Such a night we all had.
This poem is alluding directly to Andy Weir’s short story called ‘The Egg’
Photo Credit CLUC
Cold Heat I'm at the junction where the weather fronts meet Clashing, stress rising like milk boiling over Cruel, cool knife edge cutting through the desperation of a mind gone sour Too tired to function love's left this heart Compassion, strained this anger ingrained Got to take a deep breath and press 'restart'! No shame in this game just stop and start again... Again, again I hear the refrain slow down and chill life's been handing you a bitter pill But you must rise Brighter thoughts than this can inhabit your emotional skies Even in motion you have the balm The healing potion Just get the notion Volcanoes must erupt its not that you're corrupt so let it go, set 'go with the flow' on your sat-nav There are those who have less grace than this no need to stress about the hit and miss Nature of reality the moons and changing tides Respond, react to inner rhythm This is where your mystery resides Searching for balance in the motion of events Like surfing we learn to take the rough and tumble, the mundane mixed with intense Trying to find mindful presence in a storm of compassion versus anger Aggression gnawing at me like a dog with a bone Just let me lie down... Take me home. Photo Credit: Roger Kirby
I woke just now from dreaming
The feeling was desolate…
Have you ever felt
Like it was the end of the world?
Did you see the party
At the end of time?
Were your loved ones there
And your brother too?
It was my nephew who was by my side.
Or was it my son grown up?
Can’t seem to shake off the flood
The waters rose when she came after me
We tried swimming in the dark
Party over I chose to leave early
Strike my own path back to base camp
Before the dawn we were up to our necks
In the flood waters do we swim?
Stay up on higher ground
My waking self says get up
Get up out the water
The water is emotions drowning you
You can swim but it is cold
And will only tire you out
But in the dark its hard to know
What to do so me and him we swim
He’s been bitten by what?
I hugged my dad at the party
Does he even remember me?
Do the dead remember who they were?
Who they were is who they are to the living
Enduring memories serve as anchors
We keep your ashes in a box
Should we set you free on the earth?
Do you want to be free?
Stay up on higher ground
Climb on the tables
Forget and let her be.
Dark waters in the night
Do we swim in you safely?
The bar man offered me cheap drinks as he was closing
But they were no cheaper
Only faster. Urgency nearly making the choice
Not wise to guzzle your drink down
Leave the party early to the other end of town.
We saw the waters rising
It was like a tap left on
The door was a dam
Keeping it rising
Get up onto higher ground.
My old friend she scorned me
Then let me know her pain
I said yes I share your agony
But know of many remedies
She looked awkward in her skin
I remember her as graceful
Time and pain had taken their toll
I saw we were no different
In our weirdness
Then she disappeared again.
My uncle dancing like a gangster
Mod clean cuts and grey pin suit
I stood at the balcony with you
Beautiful young man
I’m old enough to be your mother
Are you my son?
What do you see by my side?
How can we hold back this tide?
Stay on higher ground.
Rise and shine.
Shine up and rise like the phoenix
He smiles at me
Staying by my side in the rising tide.