Little Dying

I am discovering new ways to die.

I now die to that which no longer serves me: doubt, fear, grief, impatience.

I now wish to learn through love.

I now reach out to spirit with my arms.

I remember my presence is enough.

I sit in nature and breathe.

So Han.

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ART

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Most of all. Remember.

 

Art Shaman; In The Woods

We can get lost in the woods
just like we get lost in ourselves
in our thoughts of future
in our regrets of past
in our longings
in our desires
and the dysfunctions of life.

But if we stop
just long enough
to listen to the silence
we may hear the guiding spirit
the still small voice
gathering us
into it’s arms
waiting patiently in the moment
now.

P.T.
3rd Oct 2016

 

Yesterday was hard. Lots felt wrong. My friend Adam, didn’t feel like taking photos. We were all tired and slightly grumpy after another late Saturday of jamming excellent music. It was a glorious day; not to be missed and by four o’clock, I had rallied myself to capture the moment anyway, trusting that the spirit of kind positivity would bring us through.

We found a small camp in the woods and I set to painting my face with memories of my gigging days floating through. We got the last remaining rays of sunshine and I posed and made shapes in the shards of setting sunlight in the glade by the path. It somehow worked out, and then there is the uncanny sense, at least after the ‘event’ that everything went according to plan; as if you had one! The spontaneous plans are always the best!

It always amazes me how healing creative experiences can be. Once you have processed the shame and embarrassment of scaring passers by with your blacked out face, the thrill of the moment becomes more playful. ‘F**k It’ is our profane mantra in these moments. I’m not being bad. Just playful, irreverent, goodly dangerous to the status quo of holding and fear. The fear in our culture is all the more easy to see and feel when you are driving along looking like a coal miner back from work…. surreal!

Never mind the bollocks. The little shoot went well. I always have to overcome my fear of looking stupid or weird and I think it paid off in the end. I love the results and it illustrates the nature spirit of the woods as part of my Art Shaman theme of the present moment.
Enjoy.
It’s all temporary anyway.

Can You Feel It? The Light Is Coming Back; A Solstice Message!

Can you? Can you feel the shifting energy?

Do you feel the motion in the air, the sense of change as the vibrations mesh, clash and realign?

You know that stuff is changing, is about to become apparent, is about to stun and amaze you, is about to manifest.

You’ve done the work right? You’ve bared your soul and cleansed your psyche of unwanted influences and bad thinking. Good. Then the rest is entirely out of your hands.

Bolster yourself. Get the things that make you happy (5HTP, new pants, cheese….) and set your rooms in order. (Hoover!!)

You are about to receive a visitation from the light. It returns with new energy and abundance, for you, for all.

The message is clear. Bide your time and keep your spirits up in whatever fashion you can reasonably manage.

The Solstice energies are gathering.

Holding_The_Moon_AW_Photo_1200px

Now is the time to let go of the past. Make a gesture to your spirit/soul/guide, whatever you call it. Just tell it out loud that you want to be happy this year, that you are willing to do what it takes to give yourself that gift.

If you’ve not made friends with yourself yet, tell yourself to your face in the mirror ‘I love you’. Don’t hold back looking at yourself. Exactly as you are…ageing and less pretty than yesterday….’I love you’. 

amazing digital art of a woman's back head and shoulders surrounded by peach and cream OM signs by adam white photography dorchester dorset uk british photographer in the south west

Let go of the need to seek approval and talk kindly to yourself now in the wee small hours when you are besieged with anxiety.

You are loved, no matter what. But no-one, I repeat NO-ONE is spared from the Dark Night….no matter their beauty or wealth or popularity. If you can see this with your own knowing eyes, then you can truly see our equality.

This is the Solstice message given to me to pass on to you.

May the light find you and never let you fade.

Sat Nam

(Truth is my name)

a red headed woman holds a seedling sprout and contemplates destiny

what an artist does for you…

what is all the fuss about? why are artists worth so much in some circles of life and worth so little in others?

the answer is quite clear. and it’s not remotely to do with some magical mysterious talent…though it helps.

it’s about love.

really?

yeah. and this applies to us all. artists happen to be some of the first in line to feel the edge of evolution. we go out on a limb so to speak, and bring back the psychic bacon…the soul food for nourishment of all.

we are arbiters of change and flying shamans. we are cosy in our bubbles where we see the cosmic dance played out before our inner retinas.

we put our visions down, fresh from the universal soup into some kind of reason upon canvas with all manner of colours and textures.

and those of us who know how to allow ourselves to love this weird thing that we do, know how to thrive. we are juicy and full of life because we’ve invested in our spiritual connection.

an artists job is merely to remind you who you are.

you are all the paintings and beautiful sunsets throughout time.

you are the dew drop on petal and the cold glint on metal.

you are light and being beyond this physical appearance, mere density of vibration.

a painting then, is like a map. if it resonates with you then it is yours to cherish.

talk to the artist. she wants to serve you. she wants to enliven your world with the visions she incubates.

without you, her audience, there is no reason.

a hopeful looking woman leans into an invisible wind that blows her very being away as she disintegrates in waves of rippling vibrations though she looks brightly into the future model is uk artist phoebe thomasson photo art by adam white photography copyright 2015 awp and pt
photo art: adam white
model: phoebe thomasson

sat nam. (truth is my name.)

Photo Credit: Roger Kirby

Dreaming of Destruction….again!

Just before my last waking this morning, I had a series of dreams. They were very strong in their imaginary.

See what you make of them and I’ll tell you what they mean to me at the end.

Dream#1: Nothing Left to Eat…

We are a small tribe/community living in a glade type valley and we are foraging for food and living our lives.

There are mini dramas going on, just as in any culture but something ominous was looming. It becomes clear that we were running out of food and that before long we would have to find more or we were all going to starve to death.

A group of us took off to search whilst the elders stayed behind and took their chances, unafraid for their survival unlike ourselves. We were hungry!

We came up a leafy hill and everything stopped. The massive strip of ground before us was as bare as could be.

Tilled soil was all that stood there as far as the eye could see up to the brow of the massive hill. My guts went weird as a ferocious sound hit us. Although we knew we should run now, we were transfixed.

Dogs came running over the hill towards us. They didn’t look like the type of dog to be fierce, they were golden retrievers! However their appearance did nothing to allay the reality that they were protecting their site and we were clearly trespassing!

That’s the end as far as I can remember.

Dream#2: Trouble in The Air…

We were driving to my friend’s house up the Weymouth Avenue and just at the top by the traffic lights we spied a sight that we had never seen for real in this area. A twister!

We debated  for a minute how serious it was. It was soon clear that it was very serious indeed and headed right for us.

My first instinct to carry on in the direction I was going, which may have actually taken us beyond the path of the wind tunnels, was immediately over-ridden by a strange mix of ‘I have to get home!’ and deep panic.

Home meant doing a U-turn in the road and I was aware of traffic all around…and home was where it was headed. Where should we turn, and how fast could we run without contributing to the general panic?

Time for the general synopsis…

Dreams are multidimensional and usually contain at least two levels of understanding, one cultural (global) and two, personal.

On a personal level both dreams seem to say to me that I’ve hit my nemesis.

In some sense I am up against the ‘survivalist’ dream. The ability to sustain myself is somehow under threat, either for real or metaphorically.

This could have always been the case, and something I am now discovering (new territory) or something that is coming upon me as new realizations dawn (threatening circumstances). On both counts the message is quite clear.

ACT! Now is not the time for contemplation…for me this is clearly a call to clear and concise decision-making.

Trust your first instinct! If that is to run, just choose the right direction. If that is to stand your ground (more appropriate with dogs than tornadoes!) then do that!

The worst thing I can do now is vacillate in self-doubt! Making the wrong decision is the fear but making no decision is fatal!

Global Interpretation…

(Remember this is my own!) OK. So we are at some ‘event horizon’ and all we see before us is barren land and…the dogs of war? We know not what is beyond the horizon and all we can sense is despair at our uncertain future.

Let me give you the alternative ending…

(Penned in my waking hours!)

A New Perspective

Immediately we all sink to our knees, drop our gaze to the ground and stretch out our arms. The dogs pick up on our non-resistance and almost simultaneously they become our friendly welcoming committee. They run up to us licking our face and wagging their tales.

They communicate that they’ve been waiting for us and protecting the land. They lead us over the bow of the hill where we behold a Golden City before us. We know instantaneously that before us lie the treasure of abundance.

The Golden City is replete with good food, shelter and companionship. We make plans to go and fetch the rest of the tribe to bring them to the city. The city exceeds all our expectations. It’s golden hue is a sign of its enlightened vibration.

Mankind has finally learned to live in harmony with nature. The barren field is merely ready for us to plant the seeds if our choice, and we are welcome into the city as long-lost sisters and brothers. We are home.

Now that’s much better!

image of a mans face with slightly deranged eyes title fragile brain pen and ink sketch with words by uk contemporary artist phoebe thomasson

It may be Hellish, but at least I’m here!

Recovery isn’t all about getting better. It’s also about adjusting, changing, accepting and releasing. We can need multiple processes to happen before we start to feel better in the way we desire to.

Just to give you an idea how this applies in the real world here is an insight into my current little drama.

Somehow, due to numerous factors I’ve manage to put my back out good and proper. I’ve been to the chiropractor and there is a loosening in process. I think in terms of blocked energy because after years of practical healing and recovery from multiple things, I now know it counts, and is real. Think life force/prana/chi or whatever vibes with you.

OK. So I identified my little psychological process that has been activated into my awareness. Here it is and goes something like this.

  • long term illness means you are cut off from previous modes of functioning.
  • we adjust our world accordingly and create our own alternatives.
  • life becomes a reflection of our ‘own little world’.
  • we recover! yay!
  • we come up against the need to ‘re-enter’ the rest of the world or the ‘real’ version of it.
  • we resist because we quite like it here.
  • we know this world and have lost the ability to be anything else so why not just stay?
  • we create something else to distract us from the growth process.
  • more pain!
  • yay! pain works a treat…it’s a different part of the body which is quite a change, I think I can continue to be dysfunctional after all!
  • Wait a minute! did I just say that?
  • Goddam it…I’m going to beat this things too!
  • And so we strive….

Onward we go and heal the next malady. But did we stop to consider why we create all this hassle? Here’s one perspective, for when you are into having a philosophical musing…

I believe illness teaches us more about compassion, resilience, tenacity, honesty, strength, weakness, reaching out, friends, loved ones, family, challenges, love, life and humanity than being a super-I-never-get-sick kind of guy ever will.

My dad was one of those and within a year he was dead with Cancer.

I’m ok with my bad back thanks…at least I’m alive.

 

Art Gallery: tribal earth

Tribal_Earth_Acrylic_Unfinished

The earth is alive with the sound of drumming…

I’m really into the Primal Blueprint/Paleo lifestyle at the moment and paintings like this mean so much more to me now than when first created. I love that about art. It doesn’t always reveal itself until the lens of hindsight is firmly in place. It also reminds me of the Mighty Boosh art which holds much of the same kind of tribal imagery. It’s fun but also mystical and deep. You know what I mean…the earthy colours and the full moon….wanna stomp? You got it!

Copyright © Phoebe Thomasson 2014

Spirit of Nature by Phoebe Thomasson

ART Focus: “The Spirit of Nature”

her red hair flies in the wind as she contemplates herself reflected in a leafy shoot acrylic on canvas by phoebe thomasson uk artist

I started this painting on my fortieth birthday and as yet, remains unfinished.

She is nature herself, gazing at her own manifestation; the seedling that represents new growth was the budding confidence as an individual coming into her power.

We don’t know we lack personal power until we start to find it. It is that sense of ‘something missing’ that drives us to search. If we don’t search and strive, we never find.

Without our nature intact life has little real meaning.

The way we search is our own unique journey. We cut paths in virgin territory. The paths have never been trod before in the way we will tread them.

We may think that everything has been said before. The spirit of nature disagrees and will always encourage new growth.

Personal growth is the power of everyone. One for all, all for one.

This is the Spirit of the Age; Nature personified.

Copyright © Phoebe Thomasson 2014